For this week’s Because I Said So Buck and I are going to answer the question: When taking a vacation as a parent, do you take the kids or not?

I’ll be the first to say I LOVE family vacations.  I love short weekend road trips and nice getaways like our most recent Disney Cruise.  Being with my kids on a vacation and watching them experience something new with excitement in their eyes is worth every penny.  Those memories are the ones that the whole family will cherish forever.  So my answer is yes I do take my kids on vacation.

On the flip side of that, I am also a strong believer that all parents need a break.  Being a single mother who always has her children I know how important it is to get away at times.  Working from home also plays a big part in needing some private time away.  Taking a vacation without kids gives parents time to recharge and be ready to tackle parenthood with a fresh presence. When my kids are visiting their extended family I usually try to take that time to get a short vacation in for myself.

I’m headed over to read what Buck has to say, you coming?

Have a topic or question you would like to hear our views on? Have you always wanted to hear both sides of a topic or answers to a question, unbiased? You can submit topics or questions via comments or even anonymously to djane (at) mommadjane (dot) com. We will pick questions at random and blog on one topic per week.

I am so excited to announce that for this week’s Because I Said So Buck and I were asked to write our views on Mother’s Day to be featured on PBS Sprout.  My article is written from my point of view on what I think the best Mother’s Day would be.  Buck wrote his article from a father’s perspective on what a man believes is the best Mother’s Day or Mother’s Day Gift.

I can’t wait to read Buck’s ideas.  It’s usually comical to hear the man’s perspective on what a woman wants.  Our articles go live on May 1st which is this Saturday on Sprout for Parents.  Don’t forget to come check it out and show us some Sprout love.

For this week’s Because I Said So Buck and I are going to discuss the difference between Work From Home and Work Outside of the Home and what our preference is.

As you all know right now I work from home.  However, from the age of 15 until three years ago I worked full time outside of the home.  There are many, many days that I miss it.  I enjoyed the corporate world.  When working in corporate America I had always dreamed of one day having my own home office and being able to have the luxury of being my own boss or at least having the extra freedom of working my own hours.

When I started working from home it wasn’t exactly a choice.  It was more like a ‘have to‘.  I guess I could say I got my dream early.  I wasn’t finished with my college degree and I didn’t own a home office.  Unfortunately life doesn’t always work the way we plan.  Being pulled from corporate America to care for Gabby in order to be available to take her to numerous doctor appointments and weekly therapy was a necessity.

Do I miss working in an office with no distractions?  Do I miss actually having adult interaction?  Does trying to work from home while having a toddler climb up my back become stressful?  Is never having a regular routine or schedule hectic?  Is it exhausting going on minimum hours of sleep at times just in order to work while kids are sleeping? Do I miss the days when I showed up for work and when leaving I left work at work?  Do I miss being able to do a task that is clearly asked of me instead of always needing to be self motivated?

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

Do I feel blessed that I am able to be there for Gabby when she needs me? Absolutely. If I could change some things would I?  Sure.  Do I live with regrets?  Of course not.

It’s like the old saying goes ‘the grass is always greener on the other side‘ sometimes we just have to remind ourselves of that and appreciate what we have.

For this week’s Because I Said So Buck and I decided to ask each other parenting questions relating to our own children.

Buck’s Question to Me: I have noticed my daughter has grown a little sassy. It is not a huge problem yet but I want to cut it off at the past, got any advice?

Your little girl is sassy?  All girls are sassy, didn’t you know that?  On a serious note, I think many families go through this, especially with little girls.  I know I was a little sassy and so were both of my girls.  I must admit I was probably a little guilty of letting this happen.  In my family’s situation I think my children were a little too spoiled which might have caused some of it.  When it first started when they were toddlers they would say something sassy that seemed ‘cute‘ at the time.  Maybe there was a little giggling involved.  Or there has been times where I responded in the same sassy way back at them, probably encouraging it some.  When I look back at these times I realize it wasn’t the correct way to handle it.  Giggling at my daughter having (what I thought at the time) a cute, little attitude isn’t so funny now.

I’m not sure there is a real ‘cure‘ for stopping her from being sassy, except not allowing it.  As soon as it happens, keep a straight face, don’t respond in any way except saying ‘that is absolutely not allowed’.  Also even though the old saying is ‘do as I say, not as I do‘ that isn’t the case and children will do as you do.  I have to remind myself of that on several occasions.

Readers: Have any advice on this topic?  I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.  Buck and I would appreciate any input and love conversation.

I am headed over to read Buck’s answer to my parenting question for my tween.  You coming?

Have a topic or question you would like to hear our views on? Have you always wanted to hear both sides of a topic or answers to a question, unbiased? You can submit topics or questions via comments or even anonymously to djane (at) mommadjane (dot) com. We will pick questions at random and blog on one topic per week.

Happy Easter Everyone! I can’t believe it is already April 4, 2010. This year is flying by and I hope everyone is keeping as busy as I am.

For this week’s Because I Said So Buck and I are going to share our Easter Traditions. How our family celebrates the holiday Easter Sunday.

On Easter morning my kids wake up to the surprise of what the Easter Bunny left them in their baskets and to go on an egg hunt usually around the living room but occasionally the Easter Bunny will leave eggs outside in our yard. I will admit I am one of those mothers that some times gets carried away with goodies in their baskets. I don’t care for my children having much candy so I usually try to put material items in their baskets. Things they want or could use beside just filling them with sugar. For instance this year T had her basket filled with Twilight items, the new Miley Cyrus DVD, some fake finger nails, finger nail polish, novel and some cool new sunglasses; Noah had the new Spongebob DVD in his basket along with a couple of cool Buzz Lightyear toys and Disney’s Car toy mini track; Gabby received the Alvin and the Chipmunks DVD and sing along bonus pack with some new jewelry and a few other small goodies. I put some candy and some coins in eggs when hiding them from the Easter Bunny and the kids love finding those.

After our morning at home as a family we usually have lunch at my grandmother’s house with my parents and sisters. I have a total of two sisters and nine nieces and nephews so there are a lot of us that get together. The adults hide the Easter eggs for the little kids first and then the big kids second. My grandmother has a fairly large front and backyard that wraps around the house without a fence so it is easy to hide eggs in both areas for the kids to run around and search.  They love it.  We all bring eggs and mix together.  Between my mom, me and my sisters all bringing filled eggs and sometimes adding more money right before the hunt we usually have well over 200 eggs.  It’s amazing watching all the kids pick them up and you’d be surprised at how quick 200 eggs can be collected.  It’s so much fun.  All the adults are running around with cameras and video cameras trying to capture as many moments as possible.

After we have finished eating lunch and hunting eggs then while the whole family is together we usually try to get a group photo of all the grandkids.  This is my mom’s favorite part.  She takes more photos than I do.  However it’s not an easy task because all the kids range in different ages and trying to get all twelve grandkids to smile at the same time is difficult.

What are your Easter Traditions?  Do you do anything unusual or exciting? Share with me in the comments because I would love to hear some other ideas.  This year I am going to try and talk the grown-ups into each putting $5 into the pot, letting the older kids hide eggs and then the adult who finds the most wins the pot of money.  From all our adults that are capable of hunting eggs (since grandma couldn’t) we would easily have $40 in the pot.  I think that would be fun!  I’ll let you know if it goes over well.

I’m headed over to read what Buck’s family traditions are, you coming?

Have a topic or question you would like to hear our views on? Have you always wanted to hear both sides of a topic or answers to a question, unbiased? You can submit topics or questions via comments or even anonymously to djane (at) mommadjane (dot) com. We will pick questions at random and blog on one topic per week.

For this week’s Because I Said So Buck and I are going to give our personal opinions on five points from ProBlogger’s post, 29 Debates on Blogging.

• RSS Feeds – Full vs Partial Feeds – I personally have my blog available as full feed via Feedburner and prefer to read full feeds.  I am more likely to read the blog post immediately in my reader or email if it is full feed.  There are a few blogs that are partial feed that have been sitting in my inbox for months.  I know this is a heavy debate and I do understand both sides.  Bloggers would rather their readers come to their site in order to leave comments and/or raise their traffic.  I click through to posts when I plan to leave a comment but when a blog is full feed therefore causing a higher read rate from me then I am more likely to comment than on a blog that is partial feed that I end up forgetting to read.
• Paid Reviews – Happy to Write Paid Reviews vs Not Doing Paid Reviews - I do not accept money for my opinion.  With that being said my first initial reaction would be to answer no, I do not do paid reviews.  However I know there are exceptions to every rule and I don’t think it is wrong of a blogger to accept payment for their time if they are doing extensive testing of a product and/or website.  Within the past year I have been cutting back on the reviews I do because to me it is a lot of work and promotion on my blog which the value of some products are just not worth my time.  Since I don’t accept payment for my opinion yet I still have to claim the value of the product at the end of the year as income, I always think twice before accepting a review.
• Blogger Name – Anonymous blogging vs Using Your Name - I personally wouldn’t blog as an anonymous blogger.  I understand why some people want to write as unknown but that just isn’t me.  I don’t think I could keep up with the double life or hidden secrets.  I also know that my blog is about sharing my life and what I go through so I wouldn’t be able to hide who I am and still be true on my blog.  With the way technology is nowadays I would assume there would always be someone out there that could figure out who someone is even if they tried their hardest to remain anonymous.
• Hosting – hosted vs self hosted - As you’ve noticed my blog is WordPress which is self-hosted using my own domain.  I prefer self-hosted and love WordPress.  Of course that means I spend money to blog which isn’t something everyone can do.  When I first started blogging I used Blogger which is hosted on Google and free.  As a beginner blogger I don’t see anything wrong with using Blogger.  I was still able to have my own customized design and the blog worked perfectly fine for me.  As my blog grew and I wanted more options as a more serious blogger I think it was best to switch to self-hosted WordPress.
• Design – Professional Design vs Templates - I highly recommend a professional design over a template.  I would even recommend creating your own header using free online programs like Picnik instead of using a common template that you may see somewhere else.  I know that not everyone can afford a professional design and some bloggers, especially in the beginning, have to use templates for their backgrounds.  When using a template I suggest changing as much as you can to give it your own touch and feel.  Try to customize what options are available to make the template your own.  Your blog’s design, logo and header are all part of your brand.  Your brand is what people remember you by.  If you have the same exact design as someone else then readers may mistaken you for another blogger when they are browsing.  Your design should be a reflection of who you are and the tone of your blog so claim it and make it your own. *Quick Tip: For lower budget designs, hire a design student who is building their portfolio.

I’m headed over to read Buck’s opinions on the topics, you coming?

Have a topic or question you would like to hear our views on? Have you always wanted to hear both sides of a topic or answers to a question, unbiased? You can submit topics or questions via comments or even anonymously to djane (at) mommadjane (dot) com. We will pick questions at random and blog on one topic per week.

For this week’s Because I Said So Buck and I are going to discuss a topic from Juice Box Jungle.

Have you heard this in your household yet? “Please Mom? EVERYONE else is wearing them!” If you haven’t yet, it’s likely you will someday fairly soon, and it might be helpful to have a pre-thought-out stance when it comes to your child’s ‘style’.  What are your thoughts on this topic?  Do you take great pride that you have the most fashionable kid on the block (C’mon tell the truth)?

I can say I have recently heard ‘but mom everyone’s doing it’ in my house.  I also must admit I finally gave in to my tween and allowed her to get her way.  Throughout T’s life I have struggled with the fact her style is complete opposite of mine.  Fortunately I can’t say that her style has been risque.  If anything I would classify her as tomboy’ish.  If she’d allow me to put her in more trendy girlie clothes, I would.

Last summer she started begging me to let her put odd colors in her hair.  When I say odd I mean it first started with pink and then progressed to blue.  In order for these colors to show up in her hair she would have had to have her hair bleached as light as possible and then add the pink or blue afterward.  Last summer I just wasn’t prepare to spend money allowing her to act on her current whim.  Of course her argument was: ‘but it’s just hair, come on!’ or ‘everyone is doing it’ and ‘I only want a few pieces, it’s not like my whole head’ then I think she finally resorted to saying ‘you’re not fair, it’s how I express myself’.  That last one was my favorite!  I still can’t help but laugh when I think about it.  She didn’t appreciate my giggling too much at the time.

After months of debating and then discussing fully with my hair stylist about allowing her to put a FEW pieces of blue highlights in, we came to an agreement.  Instead of trying to bleach her hair, then adding blue for it to only last two weeks before needing to be touched up again, we decided to add real hair extensions.  Yes, this was a little more costly up front (very little more), however to me it was worth it.  It lasts longer, isn’t her own hair and the pieces are few and small.

I do have boundaries though and my child would not be wearing skimpy clothes just because they were in style.  I think as parents we all know for the most part what we would allow before we are approached.  I was swayed this time which just proves every situation is different.  If she came to me with a micro-mini skirt and wanted to wear it with a halter top showing her stomach, I think she better try again.

When my mother was discussing me having blue put in T’s hair, I caught myself saying ‘well all the kids are doing it nowadays‘.  We both had to laugh.

I’m headed over to read Buck‘s thoughts on the subject, you coming?

Have a topic or question you would like to hear our views on? Have you always wanted to hear both sides of a topic or answers to a question, unbiased? You can submit topics or questions via comments or even anonymously to djane (at) mommadjane (dot) com. We will pick questions at random and blog on one topic per week.

For this week’s Because I Said So Buck and I are answering the question “Will you make your child get a job at 16,17, or 18 years of age?”

If I switch the question around to ask ‘will I allow my child to get a job at that age’ then the answer would be yes to all of the above.  I would allow my daughter to go out and work at the age of 16 just as long as she kept her grades up, was home by curfew (not working car-hop at Sonic until midnight on school days) and was able to keep up with what was going on around the house.  In other words, if she starts living like a slob, is never home to do her school work, her grades drop and she is always too tired to help with chores… Then I’d have to step in and cut the job out.  To me the age 17 is border line adult and obviously every situation is different; whether they are in school or not, when their birthday falls, if they are moving out, maturity level, etc.  The age of 18 in my eyes is an adult and I don’t really think I could stop them at that point from getting a job.

Now to answer the original question on whether or not I would make my child get a job and at what age: I’m not real sure on the answer to be honest.  I highly suggest working at least a few hours a week as a teen.  I think it is very important to learn responsibilities and experience the real world through the work force.  I think teens should have summer jobs to help them earn their own spending money, save for their car of choice or even to just cover their car insurance.  Working and earning money helps prepare them to move out and teaches them independence.  It is very difficult for a teenager to move away from home and step into the adult world head first without being ready.  Of course at the same time I am torn between the facts that if my daughter was very busy in school and extracurricular activities and didn’t have time to work how I would handle encouraging a job.  I wouldn’t want her working to gain extra spending money to get in the way of what is most important which is her education.  I think by the age of 16 if she wants a car, gas money, insurance and the normal teenage necessities like getting her hair done and buying all the material items her heart desires then I would require her to at least get a summer job.  I would asset the part time job during the school year at that time and make a decision based on the situation at hand.

What are your thoughts?  Would you require your teen to get a job and if so at what age? Share your stories in the comments, I’d love to hear your feedback.  I wonder what Buck has to say, I’m headed over to read his post now, you coming with me?

Have a topic or question you would like to hear our views on? Have you always wanted to hear both sides of a topic or answers to a question, unbiased? You can submit topics or questions via comments or even anonymously to djane (at) mommadjane (dot) com. We will pick questions at random and blog on one topic per week.

Last week Buck and I discussed what we would each do if we won the lottery. So for this week’s Because I Said So we are in a way continuing that discussion. We are answering the question: If money was not an issue, what would your dream job be?

I’m not sure if there is a specific title for what I would love to do.  I love to travel and I love to do volunteer work, especially with children.  So if I could travel around volunteering at different charity events then I would be thrilled.  I also want to be a public speaker so going around to different high schools and talking with teens about pregnancy prevention would truly be fulfilling to me.  I would love to be able to travel all the time without worrying about the funds it takes to cover the cost.  I also wish I had more time to volunteer without worrying how I’ll squeeze in my job related duties to cover the expenses of raising a family.

Maybe my dream job would be spokesperson for a non-profit children’s charity organization that travels around speaking at different events.  Not only speaking but also experiencing the hands-on action as well.  There are several organizations that I feel strongly about.  When we attend the local events with our Make-a-Wish Foundation Chapter I get the best feeling in the world.  Seeing all the smiling faces, taking part in the public event, sharing in their enjoyment and fun.  What better job is there?!  Having fun while making a difference is the most fulfilling job I could imagine myself doing.  I would also love to work with teen parents in a workshop setting, showing them they can do it.  Prevention is my first goal with any teen but once they are parents I do believe it’s very important to show them how to get to the light at the end of the tunnel and stay strong.

Have a topic or question you would like to hear our views on? Have you always wanted to hear both sides of a topic or answers to a question, unbiased? You can submit topics or questions via comments or even anonymously to djane (at) mommadjane (dot) com. We will pick questions at random and blog on one topic per week.

For this week’s Because I Said So Buck and I are answering the question: What would you do if you won the lottery?

I’m not sure how much money we are talking about so I’ll just pretend it’s a very large, nearly endless amount.

First thing I would do is go out and buy the perfect house for my family.  Not too big but just big enough for everyone to have their own room, an office for myself, nice size family room with media room attached, one guest room for when my family from Tennessee comes to visit and an extra empty room for a foster child.  I have written before about how I’ve always wanted to be a foster parent and if I won the lottery there would be nothing holding me back.  I then would be able to have enough money to buy a big enough house to make them feel equally important with their own room.  I know the day will come when I’ll be a foster mom without winning the lottery, it just takes time to get there.

Of course after buying the dream house I would then have to furnish it.  I love decorating so this would be so fun.  Filling all the rooms and preparing the house just right.  I love to have house parties and love to entertain guests.

After I know my family was secure with our bills and home then I would do something extra special for my parents.  Not quite sure what I would do, whether it was pay off their house or buy them something really nice such as a dream vacation or what.  But I do know I would make sure they were taken care of.  They have always been there for me and I’d love to return that favor.

I believe I would then enroll my children in private school.  I have been so torn between the public schools here: which is the best, which ones do I dislike, etc.  I don’t think I am fully prepared or capable of doing homeschool so I think a great private school where money wasn’t the issue would be best.  Not sure which one I would pick since there are several around us but I would go and look into each of them.

There are several charities that are very close to my heart.  We love being active with them now, participating in their 5Ks, yearly fundraisers and other local events.  I would donate to several of these in my daughter’s name.  I would then sponsor one full wish for a child through the Make-a-Wish Foundation.  Whichever child was next up to receive a wish local to us I would be honored to be able to provide that.  Those wish trips are so very special to not only the child but the family experiencing the wish with them.  Whether the child wishes for a trip to Disney or a shopping spree I would be blessed to be able to provide that.  The fulfillment in my heart for granting that child possibly their last wish gives me the warm fuzzies inside already.  I’m not quite sure what could possibly make me feel better than that.

I am not sure how much money would be left after all this was complete.  I know once my family was taken care of and the charities we feel passionate about were provided for then of course I would do what I could to help others.  Maybe take my daughter on that trip she has always dreamed of in Paris and convince my best friend Brandy to fly with me somewhere nice for a girls only vacation.  If I won the lottery then the possibilities would be endless, right?

Full Disclosure: I do not play the lottery.  Therefore the possibilities of me winning the lottery and making all this happen… well I guess it’s none.  However all the dreams are real and hopefully one day I’ll make them happen.  It’s nice to dream big, isn’t it?

I’m headed over to read what Buck has to say, you coming?  What do you think he would do with all that lottery money if he won?

Have a topic or question you would like to hear our views on? Have you always wanted to hear both sides of a topic or answers to a question, unbiased? You can submit topics or questions via comments or even anonymously to djane (at) mommadjane (dot) com. We will pick questions at random and blog on one topic per week.